can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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