I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
