are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I need a beard to bite.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
