Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
