Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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