I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
