Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
