Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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