So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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