Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Who died my cat blue again?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize