At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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