Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
