Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
