We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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