I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
