I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
