I just saw a hot homeless man
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
