either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
