More tranny stories later!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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