i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
