I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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