Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
