That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
