So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
