It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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