and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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