I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
