I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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