It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Bring me that man meat
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
