If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
