Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
