i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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