oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
