Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
