he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
