yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
ok first of all what the fuck
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
