I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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