Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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