it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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