I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
