I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
