Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
