and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just high enough for therapy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
