If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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