I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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