So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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