apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
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