thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
