I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
