Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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