Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
